This week has been incredibly entertaining if you are a politics junkie like your ever lovable Grey Beard Biker. With the Senate impeachment trial in a full court press, there have been plenty of great quotes generating new memes. But, without a doubt, the assknozzles-of-the-week are definitely Shifty Shiff and Jerry Nadler. Watching them make their case for impeachment in front of the U.S. Senate was priceless.
But we must not forget the whole slate of Leftist demoncrats vying for the Democrat presidential nomination. With this group, the hits just keep coming. For the life of me, I cannot find one thing redeeming with any single one of them. They are all YUGE losers. Whichever one of them is nominated will get stomped out by our great president, Donald J. Trump. Let’s look at each of the top contenders’ policy priorities.
Scary Uncle Joe Biden
Our favorite do nothing, Joe Biden, says more stupid stuff than any of the other Democrat candidates for president. And he obviously loves to suck his wife’s fingers and smell the hair of strangers. But he has told us what he wants to do if he is elected president.
- Hold gun manufacturers accountable by repealing the Protection of Lawful Commerce in Arms Act
- Ban the manufacture of assault weapons and high capacity magazines
- Regulate the possession of existing assault weapons under the National Firearms Act
- Buy back assault rifles and high capacity magazines
- Reduce the number of firearms an individual can own
- Immediately reverse the Trump Administration’s policies which separate parents from their children (I guess he forgot that it was his boss (nObama) who started this practice)
- Restore asylum laws so that they can protect immigrants fleeing persecution
- End the use of Department of Defense funds being used to build the wall
- End so called Muslim Bans
- Ensure ICE and CBP personnel abide by professional standards
- Ensure the U.S. achieves a 100% clean energy economy and reaches net-zero emissions by 2050
- Rally the rest of the world to meet the threat of climate change
- Stand up to the abuse of power by polluters who disproportionally harm communities of color
- Give Americans a new choice – public health insurance option like Medicare
- Stand up to the abuse of power by prescription drug manufacturers
- Ensure health care is a right for all
- Defend health care protections for all regardless of gender, gender identity or sexual orientation
Bernie Sanders the Russian Bot
You have to give Bernie “The Burn” Sanders credit. The guy does not give up. And if he were to be elected, you better take all of your assets off shore because he will be coming for them.
- Take on the National Rifle Association
- Expand background checks and end the gun show loophole
- Ban the sale and distribution of assault weapons and high capacity magazines
- Regulate assault weapons like we regulate machine guns
- Implement a buyback program to get assault weapons off the streets
- Institute a moratorium on deportations
- Reinstate and expand DACA
- Break up ICE and CBP
- Dismantle detention centers
- Provide $200 billion to the Green Climate Fund
- End the greed of the fossil fuel industry
- Create Medicare for All – a single payer national health care system
- Expand medicare to include dental, hearing and vision coverage
- No networks, no premiums, no deductibles, no copays
Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren
What will we all do when Elizabeth Warren is no longer being dishonest on the national stage? This woman is a walking lie. Everything she says is sensationalized beyond belief. Fortunately, she will never be elected, for if she was, there is not enough wealth in the world to pay for everything she wants to give away.
- Take executive action to hold gun dealers and manufacturers accountable
- Break the NRA’s stranglehold on Congress
- Report on multiple gun purchases
- Create a Federal licensing system
- Pass a Federal assault weapons ban
- End unnecessary detention
- Eliminate private detention facilities
- Eliminate expedited removal and provide due process
- Raise the refugee cap
- Make naturalization easier
- By 2028 – 100% zero-carbon pollution
- By 2030 – 100% zero-emission vehicles, medium duty trucks and buses
- By 2035 – 100% renewable and zero-emission electricity generation
- Full support for the Green New Deal
- 100% Clean buildings
- Provide Medicare for all without increasing costs for the middle class
- Use the Department of Justice to crack down on anti-competitive behavior
- Compulsory licensing and public manufacturing of drugs to reduce costs
Pete “Alfred E. Neuman” Buttigieg
Mayor Alfred E. Neuman Buttigieg is perhaps the only candidate who does not want to give away everything. He only wants to take away your guns. His ambition is YUGE beyond belief.
- Institute Universal Background Checks
- Ban assault weapons and high-capacity magazines
- Hold the gun industry accountable
- Establish a national gun licensing system
- Enact Red Flag laws
- Modernize our immigration laws to reflect today’s humanitarian and economic needs
- End the family separation crisis and evaluate ICE and CBP procedures
- Reinstate enforcement priorities and prevent arbitrary targeting of immigrant communities
- Quadruple Federal clean energy research and development
- Establish a Clean Energy Standard to reach 100% clean electricity by 2035
- Immediately re-enter the Paris Climate Agreement
- Deploy at least 1 gigaton of annual CO2 removal capacity by 2040
- Medicare for All
- Improve mental health and combat addiction
- Affordable Medicine for All
- Create affordable long-term care
Little Mikey Bloomberg
Don’t be afraid America! Little Mikey Bloomberg is here to save you from yourself! There will be no more plastic straws, large fountain drinks or guns! Let me tell you everything I’ve done for New York City and I am sure to be your next president! Ugh! This guy makes me want to vomit!
- Require every gun buyer to get a permit before making a purchase
- Pass a Federal Red Flag law
- Reinstate the Federal ban on assault weapons and high-capacity magazines
- Require secure storage of firearms
- Require a 48-hour waiting period on all gun purchases
- Little Mikey has no real proposals for immigration on his website
- Full decarbonization of America before 2050 (WTF does this mean? – We are carbon lifeforms!)
- Reduce greenhouse gases by requiring Clean Buildings
- Zero emission public transit
- Medicare-like public option
- Build on the Affordable Care Act
- Cap health care prices
- Lower drug costs
Grey Beard Biker’s Assessment
The entire slate of contenders for the DNC presidential nomination are completely against the Second Amendment. Most of them want to tear the National Rifle Association apart. One consistent theme is banning assault rifles (those scary black guns) and high-capacity magazines. Confiscation of such arms are not being promoted by any of these dorks, but most of them are all-in for buybacks. Their idea to require Federal licensing of guns is never going to happen. It would require a gun owner registry tied to a listing of guns they own. There is nothing new in any of their proposed plans. It’s the same old talking points they have blabbered for years.
Immigration is important to our country’s long-term health. We are a country of immigrants. Legal immigration is something no conservative is interested in changing. But today, because of a longstanding willingness to kick-the-ball-down-the-road, we have a true crisis. All of these candidates want to throw our borders wide open with little or no regulation. Most of these idiots would like to dismantle ICE and CBP – leaving our citizens unprotected from potential terrorists, drug dealers and gang members. With the influx of illegal aliens coming across our southern border, we cannot get rid of detention facilities.
The only somewhat hinged candidate on the climate hoax is Little Mikey – probably because he knows the Green New Deal will bankrupt the United States. But he is still willing to push full decarbonization! – whatever the FUCK that means. Hell, we are carbon lifeforms! Does he want to get rid of human life? Laugh my big fat #BikerAss off! Everyone besides Little Mikey is pretty much embracing most parts of AOC’s Green New Deal – a plan that will bankrupt us.
This one is simple. Every single candidate is pushing some form of Medicare for All. This is a non-starter. Hell, Pocahontas’ bold lie that the middle class would not have to pay additional taxes to have universal health care has not changed anything. They all want to provide free health care to everyone. But let’s not stop there! Everyone also has the right to free dental, vision and long-term care. Anyone with even the slightest understanding of economics knows this will bankrupt our country. But these assknozzles don’t care.
Yes, it’s true! As my post title states, “Democrats Are Assknozzles,” – every damn last one of them! They offer nothing new. Their plans are to disarm law abiding citizens, throw our borders wide open and give away everything. It’s an absolute race to see who can give away the most free shit! This includes free post-secondary education and forgiveness of student loan debt! I only highlighted the top five candidates, but the rest of the remaining field is no different. They are all a bunch of losers with a capital L!
Special thanks to @GrrrGraphics for the use of the Elizabeth Warren caricature! Make sure to follow GrrrGraphics on THE TWATTER!